my holiday spirit

i don’t like holidays.

just kidding. i hate holidays.

my mind can not comprehend the reason why people feel the need to step out of their comfortable homes and rally together in small areas so that they can no longer hear each other talk or breath a dose of oxygen.

i can not accept the way people clog up my favorite places to be in, how much of a displeasure it is to drive during these periods, or how every place i turn to i hear music and messages broadcasting “the message of love”, or “the spirit of the holidays”, trying to force their synthetic euphoria down into my unwilling soul.

why is it so hard to find a quiet place to rest?

why is it so hard to find a moment of comfort?

why does everyone else have to smile all of the time?

why do they have to act so happy?

 

why?

 

 

as far as i know, the only spirit i want comes in a glass with ice…

…alone…

…shaken, not stirred.

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it pays to womanize

statistics from some industries normally “male-dominated” in terms of sales volume:

#1 console: Nintendo Wii
#1 portable console: Nintendo DS
#1 box-office hit as of December: Twilight*

it’s official. getting women to start shopping in your market is profitable.

(*Twilight is also probably the most profitable of all of the 2008 movies that have reached the $150m mark)

what is “the box”?

“think outside the box.”  what a cliche.

the phrase is shit.  i hate that phrase.  what does it mean anyway?

welcome to mars.

if you would like me to help you with your bags,
don’t say no when i offer to carry them.

if you would rather i stay with you today,
don’t tell me to go have fun with my friends instead.

if you want me to call you,
don’t pretend you’re busy when i do.

because when i do,
i do.

but when i don’t,
i don’t.

it’s not that hard…

it’s just the truth.

The Pretentious Pretense of Acting Like You’re Hip.

it's true and you know it.

Substitute “Acting Like You’re Hip” in the title with:

…”Having a Conservation With New Friends”,
…”Talking About Music”,
…”Creating Higher Value”,
…”Commencement Speeches”,
…”Talking About Your Political Interests”,
…etc., etc., etc.

the bottom line?  you’re just talking shit.

Yeah. So, like, erm…shit.

You know what?  Shit happens.  It happens to everyone.  Especially us.  And you know what?

We couldn’t give a shit.  Except that we do.

That’s why this is here.   Because it’s shit.

So there. 

 

(Thanks for reading.)