i don’t like holidays.

just kidding. i hate holidays.

my mind can not comprehend the reason why people feel the need to step out of their comfortable homes and rally together in small areas so that they can no longer hear each other talk or breath a dose of oxygen.

i can not accept the way people clog up my favorite places to be in, how much of a displeasure it is to drive during these periods, or how every place i turn to i hear music and messages broadcasting “the message of love”, or “the spirit of the holidays”, trying to force their synthetic euphoria down into my unwilling soul.

why is it so hard to find a quiet place to rest?

why is it so hard to find a moment of comfort?

why does everyone else have to smile all of the time?

why do they have to act so happy?

why?

as far as i know, the only spirit i want comes in a glass with ice…

…alone…

…shaken, not stirred.

#1 console: Nintendo Wii
#1 portable console: Nintendo DS
#1 box-office hit as of December: Twilight*

it’s official. getting women to start shopping in your market is profitable.

(*Twilight is also probably the most profitable of all of the 2008 movies that have reached the $150m mark)

the phrase is shit.  i hate that phrase.  what does it mean anyway?

if you’re the type that goes around telling people to “think outside the box”, i hate you.  have you no shame?  you might as well tell them to go find nirvana.  after all, the two “advice” have about the same value to the listener: zero.

if you’ve ever tried to think of something new, something creative – and i mean really, actually tried – then you know you need those boxes.  why?  because if you don’t have a problem, you can’t find a solution.  let me explain.

often, you’ll face a situation where you’re asked to do something like “develop a business”, or “find a name for a new product”.  if that’s all you have, if it’s all the info you’re given, i guarantee that you’ll never – never – think of anything worth half a dog’s dumplings.  most likely you’ll simply blank out.  even if you’re brainstorming as a team, all you’ll get is idle silence.

true creativity emerges when you’re faced with problems, with constraints.  if you’re forced to develop a business which does not have the funds to recruit new resources, you might find a solution to reduce costs with what you’ve got.  if you need to find a name for a new product name that is aiming for the “environment-friendly” feeling without beeing blatant, you might come up with something with an adjective like “emerald” instead of just “green”.

in the first one, you’re thinking about solutions that do not require additional costs.  in the second, you’re thinking about names that can present its environmentally friendly nature in a subtle way.  in other words, you need to frame the box.

too often people pretend to think out of the box when they don’t even know what the box looks like.  they try to go to “10″ without counting “0,1,2,3…”.

yes, ok, i know the phrase is supposed to be about thinking of new approaches to a problem.  but i hate how cliched it has become, how people throw it around, pretending it is invaluable advice.  stop it.  they gain nothing more to work with.  it’s not coaching, it’s just shit.

i happen to like having boxes.  i create them all the time. 

boxes were created with a reason…to hold presents inside.

 
Post inspired by hearing someone use it after rejecting a colleague’s decision, and also by Mark McGuinness’s excellent post on the faulty origins of the “Thinking Outside the Box” phrase.

must. not. look. at. camera.

An artfully adapted version of the popular manga that honorablly stays true to every minute detail and gets everything from the manga right but everything else wrong.

As Scott Mccloud explained in his revolutionary book “Understanding Comics”, one way to think about comics is to see it as sequential art, where there is a kind of closure between the frames which requires the human imagination to fill in the gaps based on the frames surrounding them (example).  In other words, comics (or so-called “graphic novels”), have their own form of storytelling.

20th Century Boys the manga is one prime example of comics as a form of art and storytelling.  In this triple-award winning series, Naoki Urasawa crafts a deviously intriguing world where the most subtle changes in a facial expression can tell you a million words about what the character is thinking and where the smallest plot detail can shape the overall story arc.  The characters are vivid, the plot thickens to a pulp, and the “gaps” it leaves masterfully incites your imagination.  It is a classic story about characters with flawed pasts, heroes that are villains, villains that are heroes, and the childhood dreams we grow to forget about.

Kenji Endo (played by Toshiaki Karasawa of Casshern “fame”) is your average midlife failure.  A wannabe rock star during his younger years, he now lives with his mother and his runaway sister’s fatherless daughter and makes a living running his family’s patron-less convenience store.  However, one day he hears about a mysterious cult run by a suspicious entity who goes by the name of “Friend” and uses a symbol that is hauntingly familiar to him.  As the story unravels, Kenji finds himself in the middle of a worlwide conspiracy to take over the world that is somehow linked to a childhood story he once crafted with his friends.  And thus, it is left to Kenji who must call upon not only his childhood memories, but also their dated dreams and beliefs, that, together with the power of his friends, the good can smite evil and heroes will save the world.

Adapted to film (first of a trilogy), the movie stays true to its manga form both canonically and aesthetically.  In fact, director Yukihiko Tsutsumi gets every minute detail transferred to live action almost religiously.  After all, why fix what isn’t broken?  The casting, for example, was spot on.  Fans of the manga can spot their favorite characters as soon as their faces appear on screen.  I did not reread the manga before going to the film, yet I was able to remember the dialogues as they were spoken as well as recognize the scenes as they were flashed onto the screen.  Even the music that the protagonist Kenji Endo plays on his guitar seem to be exactly like how it’s supposed to be.

Built upon a large budget, for an Asian film, fans of the manga will instantly love the characters, buildings, scenes, inventions, and other aesthetics taken directly from the manga.  Although I too am blinded as a result of being one of those fans, I expect those unfamiliar with the series to discover its charm as well as be intrigued by the underlying plot as well.

Yet, film consists of much different storytelling elements than the frames in a comic.  And it is theses gaps of movement, sound, and pace that a comic artfully asks you to fill in but a movie must display that is done wrong.  While the screenplay stays true to its origins, it severely lacks in the areas that were not there to copy from the comic.  While the length (2.40 hrs) is understandable given the comic’s immensely detailed storyline, the pacing and transition between scenes is inexcusable.  Its reportoire of music is excellent, yet the way it chooses to execute them is incomprehensible.

Imagine yourself riding on a bus.  Conincidentally, you find many of your old friends on the same bus and exchange pleasurable conversation.  The seat is nice.  The atmosphere is warm.  But then, the bus finds itself in a traffic jam.  There aremany starts and stops, and at first you ignore it.  Eventually, you get a false hope that the bus is finally building pace, only to find the momentum cut short once again.  Finally, tension reaches a tipping point, and you can no longer look past the irritation despite the many other comforts the bus tries to throw at you.  Your overall experience is permanently tarnished.

For example, it is Naoki Urasawa’s style to often end chapters with a frame that often reveals a major plot point and introduces a feeling of intense suspense or revelation down your spine.  The way the film handles this is often by cutting short whatever music was playing that was supposed to build suspense, and showing the aforementioned plot point with what is supposed to be an eerie silence.  Yet, the visual seems too short, the music is cut-off abruptly without a notable transtion, and you seem forced into that “ah, the plot thickens” moment.

A lot of this flawed use of music and transition is found throughout the film and undermines its potential to be an enjoyable view, even as a cult (although a predominantly large cult) film.  In the end,  even the hardcore fans will ultimately grow tired of the poor execution, staying interested only to see what the next scene from their beloved belated coming-of-age story will look like in live form.  Others will look at their watches and wonder when it will ever end.

20th Century Boys the movie is an epic in disguise, holding promises of maturity, but ultimately just a nascent wonder of dreams and promises left behind.

Over a decade and a half ago, a young, curly-haired boy with a thin frame first put his feet on the green turf of Old Trafford, coming on as a substitute for one of his boyhood heroes.  He went on to mark his debut for his team with the winning goal in their local derby, paving the way for himself to make a permanent mark on the club as one of its all-time heroes.

There cannot be enough praise for Ryan Giggs.  Ever since making his name as the captain of that batch of Fergie’s Fledglings that won the 1992 FA Youth Cup, he has made the left wing his own.  Sure, his pace was deadly fast, but his dribbling skills were phenomenal – the Welshman did not just run with the ball, he glided.

Giggs is ball technique exemplified.  Even his tackles, while rare, drew the ball magnetically to his feet.  On his day, he was virtually unplayable, his talent best summarized by that 1999 FA Cup solo goal against Arsenal.

But that was then.  This is now.

Giggs should no longer justify a place in the first team of Manchester United.  As with the fate of all tricky, pacy wingers, he has lost his speed and he has struggled to adequately make up for it in other areas.

Giggs left foot is still one of the most potent in the world, yet it was never top-class in terms of putting pace on the ball and his live-ball crosses have always varied from brilliant to in-the-stands awful.  Make no mistake about it – his experience is valuable, but it does not make up for the wayward passing and shooting he has displayed in recent years.

With experience, you’d expect more of his passes to at least reach its target.  Drawn into a more central role, you would expect him to put more influence in breaking down the defence.  Yet players like Fabregas and the re-emergence of Carrick has proved that 35 years of experience is not a requirement for this.

Yes, the cool head he has always had can be relied upon when the team is going through a rough, erratic patch and looks in danger of losing control, or against less-able opponents that would still be susceptible to his mazy dribbling and new eye for smart passes.  But no longer should he have to be the one to be brought on when the situation requires an attacking breakthrough, such as the game against Sunderland on December 6, 2008, or should he be considered the person to lead the attack against other members of the “Big Four”.

And it is this continual need for Giggs to be on the pitch that exposes the current squad’s flaws.  The United 2007-2008 squad is arguably the strongest it has been in terms of ability since 1999, but unless Carrick and Fletcher can keep up their current form (Carrick seems to be rising up to the challenge, but Fletcher seems to be at his peak), Scholes is another fading force and Anderson is the inverse of the current Giggs – killer passing abilities but without the reliable head.  The surprise bid for David Silva during the close season was telling, even though it was eclipsed by the tedious Ronaldo-Real Madrid saga. 

United don’t have a winger who can consistently cross for the team.  While this has served them just fine with Ronaldo winning the Ballon d’Or while playing largely as a second striker in the 2007-2008 season, their lack of a second plan has been exposed by losing points against the stronger teams that know how to defend, as well as the smaller teams that come looking for a draw.

Ryan, you have been a loyal servant, and your contribution has been priceless.  You have always been the ultimate professional, never complaning, always doing what’s asked.  But your day has passed, and while it would be a sad season in 2009 if we could not see you as often, it would be worse if United still couldn’t find a replacement.

Thanks for all the happy memories.  Let’s make your fated goodbye be about them.

if you would rather i stay with you today,
don’t tell me to go have fun with my friends instead.

if you want me to call you,
don’t pretend you’re busy when i do.

because when i do,
i do.

but when i don’t,
i don’t.

it’s not that hard…

it’s just the truth.

it's true and you know it.

Substitute ”Acting Like You’re Hip” in the title with:

…”Having a Conservation With New Friends”,
…”Talking About Music”,
…”Creating Higher Value”,
…”Commencement Speeches”,
…”Talking About Your Political Interests”,
…etc., etc., etc.

the bottom line?  you’re just talking shit.

We couldn’t give a shit.  Except that we do.

That’s why this is here.   Because it’s shit.

So there. 

(Thanks for reading.)